Refreshed... Renewed... Ready to face another year!

Last Thursday I took a little trip! I met up with some friends to be refreshed! I have been on retreats within the last 3 years but I was not making the ground I knew was possible. Once you know the depth of love and refreshing of God - it is hard to be satisfied with smaller doses. The retreats were nice but did not leave me feeling as though I really pressed in as much as I knew I could. I often left those retreats a touch frustrated knowing there was so much more that could be and yet we were only skimming the surface. As I loaded up the car and began my journey to a retreat I had been waiting for desperately... I realized it has been 4 years since I had been to a really life changing retreat. Four years is a LONG time when you think about it. The best thing of all was that I KNEW I would leave truly changed!

Here I am as I was leaving (heading to the beach): From the picture above to the picture below was a long way. Sure - I drove five hours and yes that is far but I changed so much in the short weekend away! I left the beach renewed and with the knowing that the coming year would be exciting. I feel I am beginning this year with a full tank. I arrived to the retreat destination sputtering into the parking lot (figuratively of course) and left feeling as though I had overcome many of the familiar battles I faced within. Ones I had been struggling to fight over and over again. To see a true change in my heart was the answer I cried out for many times, to feel different - to feel my heart renew. What a precious gift God gave me by letting me truly feel the tenderness of my own heart. Our last night there I felt He allowed me to feel how injured my heart was - as though a touch would cause me to buckle and fall to the ground, feeling discouraged once more. By the end of our final night I felt strong. I felt as though He truly renewed my heart. He changed me and let me experience the feeling of that change. Old wounds were healed.. truly healed. The achi-ness and void is no longer there. I even feel as though my tools were sharpened. Sure - I've been trained and taught how I can overcome the daily battles we all face but I had become weary and tired from what seemed to be battle after battle. When you feel you experience battle after battle after battle and when you turn around to take a breath - another battle ensues... your tools begin to dull. You begin to tire from the constant beatings and you begin to forget the power of the very tools you hold. I am stronger now! I am stronger! I am STRONG!!!!!

Here is a picture of me and my roomie on our last night:

K and I roomed together and haven't seen each other in almost 3 years. God allowed old connections to be renewed and He even allowed me to return to the very house I last experienced major breakthrough in. They did not realize it was the same house but I felt like God did that just for me. We later realized it was the exact same house with a few changes on the bottom floor, after previous hurricane renovations. God allowed me to return to a familiar place with familiar faces. Some were new faces and some although familiar the distance of the last 3 years has removed the familiar comfort they once held. So I had a big comfort of just being in the house again. I tell you God is in the details of our lives! Just take a careful look at the things in your life and you will begin to notice the personal touch He adds that means something to you and you alone. That is how He is! Sentimental - precious - detailed!

When I arrived home the kids had a ribbon for me to break through as I entered the door! They were so glad to see me - they both colored me a welcome home sign too!
They were both so precious! I love my babies!!!!

I am so glad to come home to such precious little ones with a full heart! They deserve a whole Mommy - not a fragment of a Mommy. I can even see a peace settling over both of them lately. I know I was becoming edgy with them. Less patient. After a day of their needs I needed a break each night so I could be prepared for their needs the next day. Of course a break was rare but my husband is hands on and often took the lead so I could regroup for the demands of tomorrow. I decided to hug and love on my babies upon my return. I decided I would hold and hug them until they were done (thankfully we were taking a week off from school during this time - it was a perfect fit). After 1.5 hours with HC she finally filled up. JB took less time to fill his love tank but I can see they are less draining on me. That is unfair for them when I am dragging through life. I am glad to say I am whole and am fully here again! YAY!!!!! It is nice to be fully in the moments of life again! How could I have let things get so distant?! I pray I will have such times of refreshing at least once a year! It is clear my whole family needs me to take such breaks! Thank you God for such a refreshing time! I pray you each have a chance to experience the same depths of refreshing!!!!