Getting Through

What is up with me? Great question! I have gone through a tough inner struggle and that played out in my blogging. I felt like I had people visiting my blog who were not kind. After a few deliberate attempts to make me feel badly or judging me, I felt like this blog wasn't worth it after all. I felt like there was nothing to say anymore. And since I wasn't saying anything.... maybe I should shut off from this big bad world and hide out. It was so nice - my blog was private and the feeling of 'why do I have a blog if I'm not blogging' was lifted. I needed permission to not post.

Now I feel refreshed and less concerned of the big bad visitors lurking about. Maybe they are still out there... or should I say maybe they are still lurking in my world... who knows?! Who knows! All I do know is now I feel free to plug into the big bad world again and so I leap again..

Take 2 - my step out into the world wide web.

Lately I've been reading the book 'Love as a Way of Life' by Gary Chapman. It is a GREAT book. I HIGHLY recommend it for all living humans! :) It has the ability to break those vague terms of life down in such a measurable way that I feel like I can now see where I am on the scale of life.

There was one chapter on forgiveness that was really strong! It had a few key statements that struck me. One was "Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a different past." Giving up ALL hope. Wow! I need to give up all hope of having a different past in very key areas. That is a strong statement. I can measure when I am holding onto false hope versus living in reality. Knowing that is a measurable indicator helps me SEE when I am off track.

Another one is "When someone has wronged you and refuses to apologize, the challenge is not to forgive the unapologizing offender but to release him, along with hurt and anger." Wow! That is the hard part - the releasing, or as some say the forgetting.

Let go of false hope.... let go of anger/hurt... let go..... let go.... RELEASE IT. Strong words of wisdom! May I be strong enough to let go!