Where are all the Gentlemen?

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. It began as any other ordinary day but one small encounter impacted me and remained on my mind the entire day. I took the kids to eat Moe's - don't you love the way they welcome you every single time you walk through the door. No matter how impersonal the welcome is... I feel welcome. :) Anyway, after we finished eating I was picking up our trash and getting ready to strategically walk my two with me to the trash so I could dump the garbage. As I stood up, an elderly GENTLEMAN (he was an employee or the owner?) passed by and graciously said "Oh, just leave that on the table and I will get that for you." I looked at him in shock and thought, "Really? Oh, I feel bad to leave our mess for him." He looked again and said "Let me get that for you please." Then he proceeded to chat kindly with my kids.

We packed up in the van after we thanked the GENTLEMAN repeatedly and I told JB about being a gentleman. The next thing I know I'm thinking of the 100's of incidents with me trying to do any number of things with HC and JB, when he was 9 months old and she was 2 years old. Knowing how stressed I was trying to juggle things and keep the kids near while women and men surrounded me... NO ONE offered to help me. For example, being in the mall food court and carrying a 9 month old and a high chair to the table so we could eat while a 2 year old slowly followed me. No help and many witnesses. Here I am with older children who are able to stay close, although they hop deliberately from one colored tile to the next and this makes tray balancing a bit tricky if you step before they've hopped, and someone helped me.

I don't mean to get on a soap box but it really meant so much for someone to reach out and care. The simple act of courtesy. It is a lost art. I think that is one of the main things that attracted me to my husband - he was quick to reach out and offer help whenever he saw the need. It isn't a damsel in distress kind of thing but a real life thing. Where you see someone, with hands full, struggling to open the door and he offers help. Even if it isn't convenient to do so. He gets that from his dad!

I also think being married to someone who's been in the restaurant business for 90% of our time together and knowing his heart on service made this moment particularly poignant. During these hard times, it would seem that businesses would not act as though we are all a proverbial number but treat us like valued friends. I know when life is soaring and people are spending like there is no tomorrow a customer is often a number. Just one of the many, but it seems many are struggling in this economy and it would suit many businesses to return to the standard of being a neighbor.

I left Moe's yesterday feeling seen and cared for by a stranger. A simple act that took seconds off his day, he probably didn't think of it again, but for me it made me feel valued. That was a high return on that small act. I don't need people jumping up left and right to offer help to me but... since someone did it made me realize that I cannot remember the last time someone bothered to lend a helping hand. My friends do and that has been enough, it just made me wonder if being a gentleman has become a lost art. Will the remaining gentlemen retire for good soon or are there any young men roaming about with the art of consideration? We could all use the reminder of being neighborly wherever we are. I believe we are losing the ladies too! I am becoming more aware of when I can lend a hand too now.