Being Different

Last night I found myself caught up watching Science TV. This is NOT a regular occurrence around my house. We just flipped through and didn't find anything we were interested in watching. The show that originally caught our attention was one about "The Real Rain Man". Maybe on a normal day this alone would not have drawn me in but after visiting with friends and bringing up quotes from the movie "Rain Man" we were interested in watching for a little bit.

Before we knew it we were watching the entire show. It ended with a great quote (from Rain Man himself - sorry didn't recall real his name) "You don't have to be handicapped to be different. We're all different."

This stuck with me. During our conversation at dinner, my friend and I discussed the woes of high school. I shared how looking back I was so meek and doubted myself more than I care to really remember. I thought every embarrassing incident was on the big screen of life for all to see. I cared about who my friends were and did not want to be different.

All this combined - the remembrance of my insecure self and this movie - really made this quote shout volumes to me. As a mom I LOVE that my kids are different from one another. If both of my kids had HC's personality I would be a little loopy by lunch rather than late afternoon. If both of my kids had JB's personality then my day would not have near the adventures that HC can provide on a moments notice. The energy and the passions of both are so different and yet they are similar enough in some basics that they are usually really great buds.

Why is it that we get sucked into this thought of being the same as everyone else? We start conforming as school kids and maybe continue conforming all through adulthood. What is wrong with being unique and different. I LOVE my friends who tend to be found listening more than talking because they allow me to share what is burning within my heart and I feel like a million bucks because they are there - fully engaged in listening. And yet I LOVE my friends who are of that "who cares" mentality - not in a rebellious way but in a live life and enjoy it mindset. They love living an exciting life and they push me forward to try things I may never try if left to my own internal dialogue. There are many more personalities of friends that I find MUCH good in; yet I see the tendency for us to all try to decrease our differences so that we are all more alike than we are different. (I do understand the core want of being around like-minded people but I'm talking about how we hide our unique qualities in an effort to be 'normal'.)

WHY?!? Life is not the same nor as fun if we are all quiet as a mouse and life is too chaotic if we are all loud and boisterous and living to our own pleasure alone rather than to the rule of law. Being the same should not be our goal in life. Even the real Rain Man tried to conform. He learned that if he used 1 of 4 standard compliments to others then they were more receptive to him than if he remained in his raw state. Clearly we all need a good middle ground to start from but seeing the authentic rain man was really interesting. He brought an air of acceptance and freedom with him because he accepted his role in the room. No one treated him like some crazed monster but appreciated him as he was and learned from what he brought to the table. The information they gleaned from him was amazing. Why do we try to knock one another when we are different rather than care enough to learn from one another. I'm as guilty, as it seems we all are, in trying to conform. I think that I've grown MUCH in this area but I still fight the urge to blend. This show really made me want to just be myself more readily, without reservations - wondering if others would accept or reject me as I am. In fact, I was recently in a scenario that led me to see how much I have grown in this area this week - although there is much more growing I can do. Today I'm thanking God that I am no longer the self-doubting shell I once was. I think that all humans have their moments of self-doubt; but a lifestyle of self-doubt is not a fulfilling life.

I think God in heaven enjoys our differences and likes what He sees. He didn't want robots - He wanted people who are different and make life more fulfilling. It made me wonder how God reacted to someone like Albert Einstein (which happened to be the show to follow the Rain Man story).

They said Einstein approached all his discoveries with the thought of "if I were God how would I do x". He desired to know God's mind - not be God. I could imagine, as I watched, 'I wonder if God would just sit and watch Einstein (as he was pondering, figuring, writing and questioning) with the most HUGE-EST smile ever; LOVING this burn within Einstein to know Him more'. Einstein even focused on this solitary goal so much that he missed many discoveries, like quantum physics, that changed the way we live today. But Einstein was content to seek after the mind of God instead of what the 'normal' scientists were seeking after.

I couldn't help but wish I cared less what my peers thought of my way of approaching this walk of life. Wishing that because I was doing/being what I KNEW I was supposed to be doing/being that that would be enough for me. What audacity - to be confident in your seeming foolishness!? What courage!? What a truly AMAZING ride of your life! I WANT to live an AMAZING life and not worry about the crowd; but my humanity calls me to that very boring ride even against my own internal will. Thankfully the urge to resist is much stronger these days - may the ability to resist blending in, to my detriment, grow ever stronger! Now that's truly living! It reminds me of that scripture, in 2 Samuel 6:22, where David says "I will become even more undignified than this!". May I live a life that is constantly moving towards 'becoming even more undignified than THIS!' That is an excitingly, unpredictable and fulfilling living without reservation or apologizing for what one has been called to do!