Oh How He Whispers!

Last summer I reunited with some friends and they mentioned a retreat they were going to attend. I knew the ministry leader was great and I was so hungry for a God moment. I know God had been ministering to me 1 on 1 and that was EXCITING!!!! The only thing was I had a taste of the deepness of God, while under this ministry leader before, and I had not found anything like it since. To say I was excited and thrilled about this retreat was a slight understatement.

The plans were set - things were in order - I was looking forward to our time together and then... Hurricane Gustav hit. This meant that if there was severe damage to the area where we were staying the retreat was cancelled. Gustav arrived on September 1, 2008 and our retreat was on September 4, 2008, we found out that our retreat location was not affected but everyone attending the retreat was affected. They were without power, fuel and the after affects seemed to be on going for sometime. The retreat wasn't cancelled because the facilities would not allow us to postpone or refund money so... the show must go on.

We arrived and boy was it a great time of refreshing and much teaching that was truly life changing. Thankfully my husband saw the personal benefit this time was for me and when they announced their retreat in May 2009, I was able to go. Then I just returned from our retreat that was September 10, 2009. Each retreat has been life-changing for me and I am so glad to have reconnected to this source of ministry again.

I said all of that to say, every retreat there has been a unique thing that has happened on my ride home. I ALWAYS see an abundance of yellow butterflies. How crazy is that?! I know they are around before and after retreat but for whatever reason - they are everywhere I look as I drive home. I thought it unique and yet wondered if there could be more to this 'coincidence'. I believe that God is always trying to speak to us - He uses His creation as He likes to accomplish that. Whether it be a recurring number (222 for me - see last post) or a yellow butterfly.

Needless to say, I began searching for meaning behind yellow butterflies. I found that yellow represents Gift. "A gift (with feeling); gift from or of God; marriage; family; honor. Welcome home (as in "a yellow ribbon") The scripture reference for yellow:

Though ye have lain among the pots, yet shall ye be as the wings of a dove [spiritual] covered with silver [knowledge], and her feather with yellow gold [spirit of wisdom and the glory of God] Psalm 68:13

Butterfly represents freedom. "Flighty (flitting about); fragile" There were scripture references to transformation which often refers to butterflies.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind... Romans 12:2

So can I deduce that the wisdom gleaned at retreat is a fragile gift of God that produces freedom as I bring these truths home? I don't see why it can't represent that or it could just be about walking in the freedom attained during that time away. Either way - I'm taking it! He may even have a more personal reason than that, one I've yet to discover but that's what I love most about my God. He is ever revealing a new glimpse of truth of Himself to me. He keeps me on this adventure of my life - this chase of sorts. He chases me down with His goodness, I'm often too busy to recognize His gentle whispers toward me. If nothing else I am encouraged to see that I'm now awake to Him. I see a pattern, and yes it may take 3 times before I put things together, and I look for what He may want me to see in that silly or truly heavy situation.

He does the same when I am weary and fighting a battle too. Just yesterday I was wavering in an issue I've had to take a stand in lately. I had the urge to respond opposite how He has been leading me to respond. I was battling this thought - the just get it over with and move on feeling - when I decided to talk with a friend. I so want it to be over! It was clear to me that my friend confirmed what I already knew - it isn't time to move on. I hated that this meant this battle is not over yet. But OH how my want to was distracting me with the desire for the ease of getting this over with.

I picked up my Beth Moore Esther study and read "Sometimes God is more aware than we of just how much He requires of us. He knows how hard it's going to be for us." and then I read (in reference to Mordecai standing at the king's gate) "Mordecai's unwillingness to bow in 5:9 recalls his refusal in 3:2, but with one huge difference. This time Mordecai not only refused to bow but even to stand. Any time He calls us to die, His purpose is to reveal larger life." OK, I thought, I get it. I know when I studied chapter 3 of Esther God revealed a call 'to stand' to me. Then here I am wavering with standing, by wanting to remove this issue and move on, to only be reminded again the significance of standing when no one knows why in the world you dare to stand.

Fast forward to later that day when a fellow blogger stopped in for a visit and said hello. She shared that she felt the urge to come 'see me' after reading a comment I shared on another blog. She read it yesterday but I wrote it almost a month ago. I went back to that comment - out of curiosity and wouldn't you know it. I was sharing my revelation of needing to stand with this friend and by no strange coincidence - I reminded myself of the depth of truth God showed me back when I first posted that comment. Then I went to that person's blog to say thank you and her post was on 'Time to Take a Stand'. See.. even when things seem painful God uses multiple ways to get to us. To nudge us, to encourage us, to talk to us, to love us! He is our pursuer!! I think we miss his pursuits more than we notice!

My heart cry today is "I have eyes to see, I have ears to hear, I have a heart to know you God. Please heighten my seeing, my hearing and my knowing! I don't want to miss another whisper from You!"