Hot Spots!

I have noticed that I have had to remind myself of the following a lot lately: "We should look to God to fill us and not our husbands, not our kids, not our friends nor our family." I often find a lack in my life and expect (secretly of course) another person to miraculously fill my lack! To take away the empy void in x-area.

We had the best dogs in the world ever a few years ago!! Our sweet Sampson was a scratcher. If he were left to his own devices he would literally scratch his skin off, when it became dry. We had to buy ointment or put those awful circle things around his head to keep him from picking at the itchy spots aka "hotspots".

I know I have hotspots in my life. They are usually 'hotspots' I have given to God so He could heal me, but if I am not guarded against offense I go there! I get my feelings hurt, I shut down, I isolate. I begin thinking - how could someone be so insensitive. That is if I let myself scratch away at my old wounds!

What fruit is there in reliving past hurt and comparing it to a current hurt?? What good is there in building a wall around ourselves to keep hurt out?? NONE!

Reliving past hurt and comparing it to current pain only causes the healed area to bleed again. It is then tender again and I become super sensitive. again! So when someone nudges me unexpectedly, in that tender spot, I react out of my pain. The pain I react out of is unrealistic. I then cause further damage because I react by isolating! I leave our encounter thinking they've hurt me, when they've only nudged me without knowing and without intending to do so. (9 times out of 10 the current pain was unintended and we attach constant pain done by another person to the new first time offender.) I become cold towards them and in return they are bewildered wondering what went wrong or they are clueless. Result - they think I need space and give it to me. Result - I think they don't care and close up even more.

Why do we let ourselves go in these unending cycles?? Eventually I begin hurting others if I let things go unchecked!

Luckily, this time I am seeing the cycles BEFORE I react. No. Not luckily! THANKFULLY I see the cycles AND realize the potential harm that might follow. I am keeping the pain to myself now and letting God heal me fully. The recent incidents have shown me I am still vulnerable in these areas. They draw my focus to my need for God! My heart cries out: "God heal me fully in this area. I don't want another band aid. I want a full and total healing!"

My recent awareness of the cycles caused me to rejoice! The cycle is not accidental nor is the understanding of it to my demise. God used the incidents to reveal my progress in some areas (and the lack of progress in other areas)! I rejoice knowing that God would not have shown me the 'hotspots' again if He didn't intend on working on them!! So, I rejoice in my soon to be full healing of some of my oh so familiar hotspots!! God always uses the things intended for our bad to HIS good! I expect nothing less! He wouldn't promise to do it if He didn't mean it!! I already see good from the incidents!! I didn't let the little issue get me down this time. It only made me excited about the victory to come! Rejoicing!
(I hope this doesn't sound like mumbo jumbo!! If it does - I apologize! I don't want to give life to the little cycles by using examples! I am sure we can all relate if we try?!)