Well, one week down and we are having success with the behavior charts. That isn't to say that attitude problems do not arise, but we have a quicker recovery rate now. Earlier this week I mentioned we were going to try using charts as a tool to deter tantrums and my repeating my requests over and over with negative results. We decided on day 3 of success we would take the kids and get them a reward - we bought snowcones and celebrated BIG! We told them (even though JB isn't old enough to understand yet) we will give them rewards when we see them doing extra well with their happy hearts. That keeps them guessing but we also can reward as we see they are making big progress.
This week was different. Maybe it caused me to stay on task, maybe the kids needed a visual aide or maybe it was both! I don't know why but this is helping us! In fact, my daughter was having a meltdown over an issue this evening and as I tried to redirect her to another task the meltdown escalated. I told her that she was losing her happy heart and she would lose her 'happy heart star'. Why this works is beyond me, but she started laughing and trying to cooperate. I am amazed to be honest. Our motive is for the kids to obey, even when they do not like the instructions, with a happy heart. We are WINNING! It is working!! We've also begun to tell frequent friends and family, 'Can you see HC's happy heart? Her face is showing you!'. This makes her light up so much with pride (the good kind)! I love that smile - it is a true delight!
We DO let her have her emotions. We are not stifling her feelings by any means. This is really addressing our issue of getting her out of an unnecessary meltdown or tantrum when she isn't getting her way! Hallelujah!! We found a fix! So far so good! Also looking forward to JB joining in with understanding and success. He is just too young for us to know what he understands yet!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Behavior Chart Update
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5 comments:
When my four year old was two he struggled with whining when he didn't get his way. I had no problem with him crying when he was hurt or sad. But we kept telling him that crying or whining when he didn't get his way was not acceptable. Nothing helped. So I put out a playpen in the corner of the dining room. When he began to pout or whine, I would put him in there very calmly. I would tell him, "You are welcome to whine here in your whining corner. But Mommy and Daddy do not like your attitude and we will not be listening to you when you choose to do so." Then I would calmly walk away. He literally whined 3 or 4 more times and quit. He has never been a whiner since then. Doesn't it feel great to find something that works?
I may need to try that with JB! He has a tendency to scream (high pitched) and spit when he is in tantrum mode. Spit down his chin. The spitting has been since he first could show us he wasn't happy. In the past I have put him in his bed until he regained composure. Now he is in a big boy bed so I may need to pull out the pack'n play! Thanks for that reminder Good,Bad,Ugly!!
This is great! So wonderful you're seeing a difference!
Steph
okay. Where did you find this chart? I need more info!!!
okay! cool now that I've seen it. I have made one similar for my kids but that was last year and I think they were too young to get it; or I was too tired for follow through. Hoping once we're finally moved to the new house I'll be doing it better with the kids! Thanks for the info!
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