That Will Cost You a Penny

My kids love love love love love love love love love love LOVE putting coins in their piggy banks. Today I had my limit of telling HC the same thing over and over... "Stop complaining, arguing and whining. Just obey Mommy right away." There have been times when I've been provoked to say the same sentence so many times in a single day that I finally begin shouting and losing my cool. My goal this year is to enforce our rules without losing my cool. I'm FAR from perfect and I have already missed my mark BUT.... I've raised my voice so much less lately.

My latest wins have been due to stopping in the moment and saying to myself "what are you going to do now? you got any new ideas? how you gonna get this in their hearts so they begin obeying without you over their shoulders?" This was quickly followed by "God, I have NO idea what to do next. Any ideas how to make this sink in without my temper growing into the mad monster?"

One win was when JB REFUSED to share a toy and HC was DEVASTATED! The complaining from HC alone was deafening. JB was shouting in a hateful tone about how he would never share with her again. Same old song, different day. They often change roles in this scene alone. They are GREAT at being equally stubborn. The last time this occurred, I stopped and prayed because I was at a loss. All my efforts up to now had hit the proverbial wall and fallen flat. I prayed for wisdom with how to handle the moment and separated the kids. Then I had an obvious solution, maybe to the veteran parent, that I tried before with little success.

I told HC that JB did not have to share with her. There have been many times where she refused to share and this made JB sad too. Then I told JB, how about I put the timer on and you play with the toy and when the beeper goes off.. then HC can have a turn. JB said, "That's a GREAT idea Mommy." I turned on the timer and before the timer even beeped JB offered HC her turn. Problem solved. Since then this solution has worked many times. Maybe they are now old enough to reason with?

Today, I was sick of the whining and such from HC. The drama she can create when she is not happy is exhausting. I was about to spout off the normal banter when I had a great idea! Pennies!!!!! I told HC.. "Mommy is making this sign. Every time you complain or whine or argue with Mommy. I will make a mark on the sign. At the end of the day we will see how many times you complain and we will take that many pennies from your piggy bank." Silence. The arguing/debating I normally hear was gone. Crickets was all I could hear and boy was that a welcome change.

Then JB wandered into the room and asked about the sign on the wall. I explained the rule and told him that I was now making a sign for him too but his sign is going to be different. He will get a mark for every time he hits or says mean things. JB said "OK Mom. I'm going to be the nicest to my sister. OK?" I said "Great!"

Some say they've tried this and it has a short life but... for now I am experiencing peace. At this point a coin is a coin so dollar value doesn't matter. What does matter is I haven't heard 'but Mom' since enforcing this rule. No more harsh words towards HC from JB. Just good ole fashion cooperation is making a comeback in my house! Now that is music to my ears.

(Just had another idea - I think we will begin giving a coin to them everytime they obey right away! I've gotta get that one in their heart asap!)