First Time Mommy Syndrome

(I look so pale in this picture! HC was one month here!)

Will I ever stop being a First Time Mom?? I feel like I will never graduate! Of course my journey into the 'First Time Mom' club began with my pregnancy with HC. I thought I would graduate after we hit the one year old marker and were pregnant with JB. Not so!

(HC is 15 months and JB is a 6 month baby bump)
Is this an eternal club? It feels permanent some days. I can still remember when I took HC to see a specialist because I felt her legs or feet were not quite right. As I walked out of the exam room, I felt like I was wearing the scarlet 'First Time Mom' sign on my forehead. Her legs/feet were fine. I cannot even tell you what provoked the visit to this specialist. My pediatrician never saw what concerned me and I cannot remember the problem. It was 'First Time Mom' Syndrome!

What about when she began eating real food? I would almost watch every chew with hopes that the bite I just gave her wasn't too big! The bites were cut smaller than the size of a dime!

How about the fact that HC was a model baby, after the 6 week marker. She was on an instant schedule from day one and was a dream! I 'knew' what all other moms should do if their little angel was NOT as compliant.

What about the time that HC was having a tummy ache, at 3 weeks old. I didn't know why she was fussy and I nursed her almost every 30 minutes to soothe her. Then she projectile vomited on me and I called the emergency room.

I thought this phase was over!!

My newest First Time Mommy experience is school. We had HC enrolled with a great pre-school and then felt, very strongly over the last 2 months, that we should look into Homeschool. Why do other adults need to scold First Time Mommies as though we do not know what we are doing? Sometimes I am pushed into a place where I need to defend the choices I make with my kids. I need to be the expert but I feel uncertain when others question me so sternly. I can tell you I felt so much better about pulling HC out, after the stern response. I cannot imagine what would happen if we left HC in school and had an issue arise. I'm not convinced they would handle it or take us seriously.

(HC is 3 years and 10 months)
I was talking to a friend, with a daughter HC's age, and it seems I am on common ground. When we learn with our firsts we become an expert for the younger siblings. I feel like I should have an instruction manual of how-to's for handling yucky situations. Etiquette for tough moments! How should we handle another child mistreating our child? What if the parent does nothing? What if another adult questions our decision and does so rudely? Why does parenting have to make me want to puke when I don't know what to do? Am I a wimp or is this normal Mommy stuff? It seems as though when HC hits a milestone, I am challenged in a new way that questions all my 'expertise'.

JB seems so much easier because every time he hits a growth stage, I've been there before! It isn't about HC being difficult. It is ALL new to me with her! New experiences are great but sometimes it stinks when things are new. Thank God HC is resilient!

I think First Time Mommy Syndrome stinks people!! I know I will be an 'expert' on this issue next year. So I will walk through the process, mess up or get it right, and be prepared when it is JB's turn to hit this milestone. I will have a victory soon and feel my Mommy-confidence return. But for now, I'm having First Time Mommy Syndrome growing pains... again!