"I'm Just Trying to Help"

I've found myself in a strange place lately. I do not have the words to properly express this strange place so I will share a 'story' with you. Let's pretend I have a house with a bad shutter.

Let's pretend a friend calls me and says "Hey there. I just noticed that your shutter was loose and wanted to make sure you were aware of that. I didn't want it to get worse and you not know it."

I say "Thank you friend. I did notice that shutter. I've actually attempted to repair that very shutter a few times before but that silly shutter continues to come loose when certain types of storms blow through our neighborhood. Thank you for thinking of me and lending a helping hand."

The next day the friend calls back "Hey, I know you are aware of your bad shutter but... you really need to get your shutter fixed. This is not something you can wait on - you need to move on this right now because it is more serious than you can see."

Me "Thank you for your concern for me - but I have called the repair man and he says he will be here soon to properly repair this. Thank you again for taking the time to let me know about my shutter but it really isn't as bad as it must appear to you."

Friend calls the next day "I've now reported you to the home owners association, since you are unwilling to make this issue right. You have obviously been neglecting matters at your home and somebody needed to say this to you - it has become an offense to all who see it."

Me "No comment." (Because now I see my words are not being heard so - there is nothing to say anymore.)

Friend sends a demolition company to my house with dynamite to blow up this neglected home because it is obvious to 'them' that this 'shutter' problem is way bigger than anyone thought. A repair man won't do - a demolition team is necessary because the house is obviously about to tip over from all that damage the simple shutter brought to this home.

It all begin with a kind effort to help but it has now become a source of destruction. Some lend an innocent helping hand that becomes an all out effort to destroy you to your very core. Hard lesson to learn but I'm trying to find good in all of this - right now I can't see any.

The biggest lesson learned was that this friend never really knew me and therefore didn't know how minor the issue they saw was. To them there was more to the story but all the 'more' was via their imagination. The story was simple but now it has become destructive. It has been a sad few weeks but I'm renewing my strength right now, or should I say that HE is renewing my strength right now. When someone misunderstands you it hurts, but when they insist on misunderstanding you and get mad that you won't say they are right.... that is a fight not worth fighting. It's not worth fighting because the only way you 'win' is by agreeing with the lie that they believe is true. That's never worth doing.

STRAWBERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today we took a fun adventure to the Strawberry Patch. This has been an outing we've tried to take 3 times. Thankfully the third time WAS the charm. The last 2 dates we chose were either on rainy days or just after lots of rain so we had to postpone so the ground could dry. So today was THE day we had waited for! Here is HC and her buddy, A, posing for a picture. L and JB
JB, A, HC and L - with baskets in hand and ready to pick their strawberries!!!!
The farmer was showing the kids the best way to pick the berries and he showed them which berries were the best ones to choose. Let the picking begin!
JB was a quick student! He quickly got the hang of things and his basket was heavy quickly.
HC had a great time! Sweet girl!
He's a natural I tell ya!
Berries!
HC picking some berries.
The berries were so juicy and plump!
Fun times.
CHEESE! We love STRAWBERRIES!
HC took a pic of me and JB.

Thankfully we left with some extra goodies too - some squash, zucchini, broccoli and onions! What a fun trip for some yummy goodies! The End.

Will The Real Me Please Stand Up?

A glance back down memory lane explains much to me. We moved about 3.5 years ago and I've noticed a familiar feeling return - "Do I really know anyone here and does anyone really know me?" We moved around much when I was in school. I think I attended 3 or 4 elementary schools and 2 different middle schools. We finally settled in one place my last year of middle school and I finished high school in the same place.

Over the last 3.5 years I've felt like I was back in middle school. I know that in truth I'm not, but the feeling of being in a new place stirred up the feelings I once new well in middle/high school. Where do I belong? Who can I trust? How can I plug in this community? Same questions - different stage of life.

The first 2 years were great. I was plugging in and feeling like life was treating me fine. Then that 3rd year hit me when I wasn't looking. It was a doozy! I started feeling like I hadn't really gotten to know anyone, really. It was all the surface stuff that, as a Mom, we cannot help indulging in. It isn't our fault really! Every conversation is at the mercy of our wee ones. Every bit of knowledge of the friendships made in the first 2 years was deeply fragmented. My kids were at ages that they needed me and therefore I look back and think... there is SO much I feel I don't really know about the connections I made in those first 2 years. This was how I felt but I didn't have words to express because I was 'in' the moment and it wasn't clear why I felt so disconnected. Looking back now we were all sharing the new feeling of being called Mommy; but that wasn't all there was to know about one another.

It wasn't until reading a friends list of '25 things about me' that it hit me how true one of her 'facts about her' fit all Moms really. She wrote "People didn't used to be so surprised to find out I have a sense of humor. I don't know what happened. It IS a little dry I guess." The other obvious thing I noticed was I knew so little about her. Seeing her list - NONE OF THAT came up in our many conversations!!! How can that be possible?! That list of 25 - I did mine and I know for me - I shared things that seemed most like me to me; so knowing I didn't know these things about her was jarring.

After pondering her #19 on her list - the humor one - I finally saw it all clearly! How fragmented much of my time is with my friends. No time for real talk. We talk about the here and now and what is going on with our kids mostly. Stages of change for them, progress, behavior issues and how we handled it.... on and on the list goes. Where are WE in that conversation? We are becoming Mothers.

Often that requires a sacrifice of 'me'. Whether you are a working Mom or a SAHM (stay at home mom) the 'me' changes. The single me changed into the married me and now the married me is responsible for little lives. I've never learned MORE about myself than I have by being a Mom but I've also never felt so unknown by those in my life than I do now.

I think it is a season but for now I do feel like I'm beginning to break out of the being unknown feeling. Seeing that it exists and that I was so deeply hidden made me more intentional to offer the 'me' in my time with friends AND it made me more intentional to find the 'me' of those who surround me. There is nothing worse than being surrounded by GREAT people who you really love and care about and realize they have no idea who I am and sadly I don't know them at all either. I know there heart, as far as mothering is concerned, but that is almost all I know about them! I'm awake to this distraction and I want to know all the 'me's' that I call friends. They are ALL dear to me - even the ones I rarely see or chat with via the www - but they are still important to me and I am now wanting to know the 'me' I failed to know when we had more time together!

There's a Party in My Cabana

Girls just wanna have fun ya know! :) My HC found out that Daddy gave me a Mani/Pedi for Valentine's Day and the tears began flowing! "I want to go!! Can I go Mom?" I told her I was going with friends and she could not go. The waterworks were heartbreaking. I told her I would paint her nails for her if she wanted me to. She was eager to have her turn. We did a little rainbow number on HC and she was well pleased! We used hot pink, light pink, purple, orange and blue. The orange and blue are very light and mainly look like sparkles. Such a happy girl! See, whether you are 5 or >5 painted nails = a happy girl!
Happy times indeed! We sure did miss you Missy - but we totally understand! It was so nice being pampered. Aren't our hubbies the BEST!?! It was so nice to talk to one another without constantly being interrupted by children. Our babies were safely off with their Daddy's - having fun I know!
We all left feeling refreshed and pleased with our spruced up toes - a little "Party in My Cabana". Gosh... this just makes me want to walk on the beach a little bit!
My "Mauve Maniac" friend rockin' those fly toes!
And the "Susie Pink" (can't remember the official name of this color) was a great choice too! I'm thinking this was a fun gift and I hope this will not be the last of our girly adventures. I've never had so much fun having my nails done - the time just flew by!
Happy Valentine's Day Steve! I loved my gift - it was the perfect fit!!

Super Bowl Sunday

Super Kid Game Day is more like it! We had a SUPER time with all the super activities and super food and super company! That's alotta super! Here's HC and her buddy - the thing I love about these two is that they are girly girls, yet they can hang with the boys too. They are up for a challenge. My big guy on his actual birthday and first ever Super Bowl Party. 4 years old! So much has changed over night since he is now officially 4. More on that later!
A little warm-up with "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes".
Then the line race. They had such a good time running to each line and then back to the finish line.
Then they were seeing who could make the most muscles with the balloons. After this game they all stomped on the balloons. I don't know which part they enjoyed more! :)
Then a football toss - and yes! My girl threw the ball in on the first try!
Wouldn't you know it! The paparazzi had to show up! You never know when they will pop in on the fun!
After some delish Chili (thanks Stephen), Hot Dogs, Wings and Dip.... the kids were back out on the deck to run around the deck at least 50 times... not kidding here. They were WILD and WIRED!
After the parents ate, the kids decorated their cupcakes. Ashley is so creative! :) They put green icing on the cupcake and made yard lines with white icing and then added a football ... bon appetite!
YUMMY YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!
Ta-dah!
Supervising the cupcake eating.
JB found the guys watching the game.
And then the kids decided it was time to crash the Daddy's party!! Tickle time and a little football smack talk! GEAUX TIGERS by the way! LSU Tigers that is! You know... the good 'ole Purple and Gold.

I must confess I have no idea who was playing and I don't care! We were there for the company not the game. Just glad the event brought us all together. I know the Dads had the game watching covered! Thanks for having us over for such a great time Ashley!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Our New Year's Eve was so fun. We had a date night and so did HC and JB. They went to play with friends while we had dinner out. They had SO much fun on their night out - they read the Gingerbread Man and baked Gingerbread cookies (something I do not do enough of - baking). They were so excited. They were not ready to leave once the night ended. We arrived too early according to all involved. They had changed into PJ's and were getting ready to watch Frosty and partake of their cookies when we barged in and ruined the fun. It was definitely a fun night for HC and JB!
We had a great night out - we ate Thai food for the first time. I even had almost sushi and all! Great fun! The best part of all was the company - totally a fun group (we missed you and your hubby Ashley!).
The other side of the table.
New Year's 2009 was very unique for the MorningSong family. Normally our New Year's Day is a lazy day of hanging out. This year we chose to bring order to our storage unit. There are SO many things I haven't seen, with my own eyes, in three whole years. It was time to bring order and purge a bit. After the storage purging we caught a late lunch and headed to another unique event. We played our first ever game of Monkey Ball. We had never heard of the game until New Year's Eve - we were invited to play a game and we had a great time! Here's a pic of Steve and JB learning the art of throwing monkey balls.
Steve testing his skills. JB waiting for a turn.
My boy LOVES to join in the fun - all sports all the time!
HC didn't have as much skill - and she was quite OK with that!
JB trying to help me figure this game out. I lost 2 games back to back. I need to practice and who knows - I may be a monkey ball superstar before ya know what hit ya! (And yes - if I am around with monkey balls - you may want to DUCK!)
HC had MUCH more fun playing in the leaves and digging in the dirt - and basically playing with the other kids! So fun!

So far our 2009 is proving to be a bit unusual but unexpectedly FUN! I can deal with a year like this. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

A Night Out

Monday night Steve and I had a treat! We went to a Christmas concert with some GREAT friends! We had a wonderful time! I highly recommend this concert if it is in your neck of the woods. The artists who sang were all stars in their own right. They were fabulous!! I wanted ALL of their CD's by the end of it all. The message was great and I left the concert feeling refreshed and CHRISTmasy. The message was really great!
Most of you may have heard of these artists (but I don't even remember their names now). Wish I would have written down their names - their voices were so beautiful and the live music - well.... it's been a LONG while since I've been to a live concert. It was refreshing to hear live music with live voices. Talented voices. It was marvelous.
Here is one singer whose name I do remember. His name is Bebo. What a name. :) I love his voice!

Steve and I had a really great time! The friends we sat with were the best. :) MARVELOUS Saviour, FABulous husband, SUPER friends, and great music - what a fun night! We realize we need more of these sort of nights in our lives. Note to self: MUST schedule more leisure/fun time with friends on a regular basis!!

Gone Fishin'

Last week we met up with some friends we haven't seen in awhile. JB saw his best bud S! We also found a little red head at the park who joined in on our fun. She was a spunky girl! Here they are all running together. This is the ONLY shot I have with them all playing together. Our plan was to take the kids fishing. Here is JB, S and HC with her pink worm.
S's brother E is a sweetheart but is usually doing his own thing. They all love each other but it is hard to get E to join in with the others usually. He remained focused on fishing the entire time!
Here were the 3 stooges holding the fishing pole - before long they were all running around laughing and playing. Of course they were laughing and running and playing after they safely returned the fishing pole to Mom.
S and JB running along the pier.
We were not catching fish directly off the bank so we headed to this mini-pier.
It didn't take long for the gravel path to become the hit of the day. We also 'caught' this little guy. Is he a fish? Is he a tadpole?? Is he a HE???? 'He' is in the center of the Tupperware lid.
Here are the kids trying to catch some more "he's".
FINALLY.... the boys were all on the same page with the rock castles.
Teamwork makes the dream work! :) Sand castles...rock castles.... it's all about what you see when you are given lemons. We didn't catch any fish but we did have some fun!